hawkizefan Posted November 18, 2010 Share Posted November 18, 2010 After much lurking,reading,investigating and questioning, I finally did it. I ordered my new ego early tuesday A.M.....haven't been able to eat...sleep...think rationally. Was sure that today was going to be the day. Left work and possibly committed at least 2 counts of vehicular mayhem, screeched to a halt at the communal mail box, opened it with sweaty palms and breath held to find....BILLS. BILLS and JUNK MAIL. Shall we all bow our heads and share a moment of silence. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kitsune Posted November 18, 2010 Share Posted November 18, 2010 Poor Hawk--very sad day indeed !!! That just means you will have something in the mail tomorrow. We all dread waiting for our presents !!! On-line shopping and instant gratification do not mix well..... You will very, very soon be a happy vaper Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hawkizefan Posted November 18, 2010 Author Share Posted November 18, 2010 Thanks Kit....very kind words indeed and yet...they can not salve my wounded heart and soul. I think I need to be alone for a time. Adieu. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brian Posted November 18, 2010 Share Posted November 18, 2010 <moment of silence> Ok - Hope you have it for the weekend! Did you get a tracking number? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hawkizefan Posted November 18, 2010 Author Share Posted November 18, 2010 <moment of silence> Ok - Hope you have it for the weekend! Did you get a tracking number? Yes I did, but for the last 24 hours all they show is that it has passed through san bernadino(sp) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kitsune Posted November 18, 2010 Share Posted November 18, 2010 I can loan you my woobie to curl up with in a corner with...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brian Posted November 18, 2010 Share Posted November 18, 2010 Yes I did, but for the last 24 hours all they show is that it has passed through san bernadino(sp) It's because you're in NE. LOL! Once nana and I both had a shipment coming from VT, shipped the same day, but I got mine in WV before she got hers in NE. Odd how that works. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hawkizefan Posted November 19, 2010 Author Share Posted November 19, 2010 It's because you're in NE. LOL! Once nana and I both had a shipment coming from VT, shipped the same day, but I got mine in WV before she got hers in NE. Odd how that works. It's a conspiracy I tell you. Jealously and spite on the part of the usps. I firmly believe that the usps will deliver my parcel befor the usps tracking site is even remotely aware of it lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christopher Posted November 19, 2010 Share Posted November 19, 2010 and so the mail box sits along patiently waiting... Jeffb 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hawkizefan Posted November 19, 2010 Author Share Posted November 19, 2010 and so the mail box sits along patiently waiting... Ouch!!! That one kinda hurt....even though I'm sure it wasn't meant to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Uma Posted November 19, 2010 Share Posted November 19, 2010 ::: moment of reverent silence::: Yay!!! It's on the way, it's on the way!!! You're going to love it, the eGo rock!! hurryhurryhurryhurry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bahamasboy Posted November 19, 2010 Share Posted November 19, 2010 (moment of prayer) Most High and Etherial Whispy Godess of all things Vape, In his most trying of times, we ask the following: 1) Allow Hawk to remain calm. 2) Help him avoid aiming his four wheeled mode of transport at innocent furry critters scavaging for nuts in preparation of the winter months that are soon to be upon us. 3. Curb his desire to hurt the things he loves. and 4)LIGHT A DAMN FIRE UNDER THE POSTMAN'S ***. Godess, I feel his pain as I anxiously awaited my Ego this week, however feel blessed and honored that you chose have it delivered a day earlier than I expected. In all things atomized, aaaaaaaa-- mmmeeeeennnnnnnnnnnnnn Bahamasboy p.s. Could you tell Santa to bring me a flavor assortment for Christmas??? AimeeG, kitsune and elDuderino 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nana Posted November 19, 2010 Share Posted November 19, 2010 After reading your first post, I sat in silence and said a prayer for you and then... I read your last post and... ROFLMAO. I remember that, Brian. When we got our VP/PTs. LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snubber Posted November 19, 2010 Share Posted November 19, 2010 Man...it sucks to be you right now. Hey just joking...I'm sure it will be there tomorrow. If not check to see if it's at your local P.O. and go and pick it up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elDuderino Posted November 19, 2010 Share Posted November 19, 2010 (edited) To me, the mailbox is a magical inigma. Thats why we love it(internet shopping) so much sometimes. The anticipation; a gift to yourself; the moment of arrival. My favorite is when I dont know if the mailman has come. One minute the box is empty - the next - BAM! a package! Magic! - You walk out to the road, big black rubbermaid bat-proof wonder in your eyes; mind aloof as you look around and notice that the world around you is slowly becoming completely wrapped in plastic, and, as you march the seemingly endless path toward the box, the excitement building with each step, thinking to yourself, "did it come? will it be in there? oh god please let it be there!" This is your third time to the magic box today and each time - empty - your desperation intensifying with each fruitless trip, but maybe, just maybe it'll be there this time. Oooh, can you picture it? It's gonna be there this time, you can feel it. And there you are standing at the precipice of glory. The only thing seperating you from massive clouds of glorious vapor is that little black plastic door. You reach for it. !@#$ watch the car! as some maniacal youngster screeches past trying to beat the mailman home in case a signature is needed for a package. "PUNK!" Forget him, back to the box - your hearts really pumping now, your pulse is racing, palms sweaty; the handle feels cold as pause before opening it - as if taking your time might allow it a few more seconds to somehow magically appear. Wait. What's this? Could it be? Your actions quickening now as you begin to see the rough corner of a white cardboard box coming into view. It is! It finally came! Indeed, there it is crammed inside upon piles of wasted trees and political garbage. "But wait!" you think to yourself. "Is this some sort of practical joke?!?!" "How in the @#$! did that ***hole get it in there?!?!" you say aloud as you pull and tug at the mangled package. Ripping and shredding away at the useless pile of junk that seems to be holding everying back. "OOOOH they're gonna hear about this one! You grunt and curse and pull and twist so hard the plastic mailbox begins to lose its grip on the ground. And all of a sudden - POP - there you are, a** down in the road parcel in hand; shedded paper still drifting peacefully to the ground like confetti on New Years Day. You finally have what you've been waiting for - your precious; your eGo. Then again, maybe your mailman will just set the damn thing on the porch! GL and hang in there, it'll come!!! Happy Vaping! Dude. Edited November 19, 2010 by elDuderino elDuderino and bahamasboy 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hawkizefan Posted November 19, 2010 Author Share Posted November 19, 2010 Bahamasboy...to you I say AMEN..hell yes amen. Praise the vape o lord and lead me into the fog. Eldude...Obviously you have been there. Don't know if I could handle to many trips to the mailbox like that. That sounded almost sexual with a touch of desperation to it...hold it..just described myself. Any way I would probably need a nap after a postal escapade like that. You did however probably hit my new babys name on the head...MY precious...my preciouuussss. Not real original I'm sure, but very fitting. Do y'all name yours. In the insulin pumping community it's common to name our pumps and would assume that a lot of people do. Would be fun for people to chime in with the monikers they have come up with. Anyway....thanks all for your concern....I'm sure I'll be alright. Kinda sucks that I had to go out last nite for a new bag of shag. Was getting to the bottom of what I was hoping would be my last pouch of drum...rationed it yesterday...then this terrible postal experience occured. Oh well....today...today...today...I CAN FEEL IT. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
owutaqt Posted November 19, 2010 Share Posted November 19, 2010 I feel for you man! The dang post office can make your day or ruin your day......I hate that it holds so much control and the power, why does it need so much power, seriously! Does any one thing need that much power...to make us full of joy or full of so much sorry we just wanna go back to bed. It is no wonder kids beat them with bats! Maybe just have a glass of wine while ya wait. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bahamasboy Posted November 20, 2010 Share Posted November 20, 2010 So... HAWK.... did it come?? I'm dying to know.. Dude, I like it, you're as twisted as I am! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hawkizefan Posted November 20, 2010 Author Share Posted November 20, 2010 So... HAWK.... did it come?? I'm dying to know.. Dude, I like it, you're as twisted as I am! Dude...your concern is so touching...thank you...I feel now however that I need more...........no...so much more....I'm sorry...please bear with me.....I feel so....despondent...NO..more than that. My friend, you are reading the post of a man who is teetering on the edge. One edge leads down..down..down to self pity..the "why me god..except for that short period from 1976 to 1988, I've been pretty good" slope. The other edge is so...dark. So dark that even I.. even I, the man that lived...and survived that that dark and scary 14 year blurry history can hardly stand to think of what I may be capable of at this moment.(side note...I just shivered..Did you feel that?) Alas my friend...the mailbox was...EMPTY. I know. I was stupified. I could not believe it. How...HOW could this be happening. I...I...I'm not proud of this, but I decided to find solace at the bottem of a bottle tonite. I decided that since the gods (and by "gods" I mean the usps) had decided to do this to me, I would do the only thing a mere mortal could do......I WOULD HAVE A GOOD STIFF DRINK OR 2. Don't know about you but I think the creative writing classes are really paying off. $499.99 seemed like a lot till I go back and read that and I'm like...WOW..I wrote that? My wife pretends to be put out by me, but bless her heart....she is one lucky lady. Just happened to hit the mailbox at the same time as the mail person. Stood there very patiently, gave her a curt nod and a smile...all the while waiting and hoping that she would pull out a priority package and stick it in the communal "big bin". Don't know how many of you are familiar with the communal mail box, but it is one big box, usually located very far away from where YOU live and in the most inconvenient location that can be found in a subdivision. The actual bins are slightly larger than a pack of gum...so if you recieve a large package it goes into the big bin. She didn't pull out a priority package and put it in the bin. Now I still smiled as she pulled away...but in my mind I was doing terrible...very horrid things to this lady. I know...not her fault(or is it?) but horrid things nonetheless. A couple of stiff bourbons on the rocks and I feel now that I might make it. But I need to give y'all a big heads up. My hawkeyes are playing ohio st.tomorrow....at home....But I'm not feeling it. So tomorrow if my Hawks lose.....and the usps gods diss me again....you very well may turn on your t.v. and hear "BREAKING NEWS OUT OF OMAHA..A SEMI NAKED MAN...YELLING EGO...EGO....EGO, LEGGO MY EGO" that will be your cue to start a bail/public defender fund. I'm not proud of what I have become this week....and I'm even less proud that I hung it out here on this public line......but somewhere deep in my tar saturated heart....I know that you understand' Thank you for letting me vent GO HAWKS noXious 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nana Posted November 20, 2010 Share Posted November 20, 2010 We feel your pain...we really do. So very sorry... Maybe tomorrow? If not, I'll be watching the news.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hawkizefan Posted November 20, 2010 Author Share Posted November 20, 2010 Please don't watch....I don't want you to remember me like that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hawkizefan Posted November 20, 2010 Author Share Posted November 20, 2010 *side note* Bahamsboy ....I resemble(or resent) that"your as twisted as me" remark. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Uma Posted November 20, 2010 Share Posted November 20, 2010 " !@#$ watch the car! as some maniacal youngster screeches past trying to beat the mailman home in case a signature is needed for a package. "PUNK!" Forget him, back to the box ..." mmmmm, yo Dude! I'm a female not a guy. hrrmmph Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
noXious Posted November 20, 2010 Share Posted November 20, 2010 Dude...your concern is so touching...thank you...I feel now however that I need more...........no...so much more....I'm sorry...please bear with me.....I feel so....despondent...NO..more than that. My friend, you are reading the post of a man who is teetering on the edge. One edge leads down..down..down to self pity..the "why me god..except for that short period from 1976 to 1988, I've been pretty good" slope. The other edge is so...dark. So dark that even I.. even I, the man that lived...and survived that that dark and scary 14 year blurry history can hardly stand to think of what I may be capable of at this moment.(side note...I just shivered..Did you feel that?) Alas my friend...the mailbox was...EMPTY. I know. I was stupified. I could not believe it. How...HOW could this be happening. I...I...I'm not proud of this, but I decided to find solace at the bottem of a bottle tonite. I decided that since the gods (and by "gods" I mean the usps) had decided to do this to me, I would do the only thing a mere mortal could do......I WOULD HAVE A GOOD STIFF DRINK OR 2. Don't know about you but I think the creative writing classes are really paying off. $499.99 seemed like a lot till I go back and read that and I'm like...WOW..I wrote that? My wife pretends to be put out by me, but bless her heart....she is one lucky lady. Just happened to hit the mailbox at the same time as the mail person. Stood there very patiently, gave her a curt nod and a smile...all the while waiting and hoping that she would pull out a priority package and stick it in the communal "big bin". Don't know how many of you are familiar with the communal mail box, but it is one big box, usually located very far away from where YOU live and in the most inconvenient location that can be found in a subdivision. The actual bins are slightly larger than a pack of gum...so if you recieve a large package it goes into the big bin. She didn't pull out a priority package and put it in the bin. Now I still smiled as she pulled away...but in my mind I was doing terrible...very horrid things to this lady. I know...not her fault(or is it?) but horrid things nonetheless. A couple of stiff bourbons on the rocks and I feel now that I might make it. But I need to give y'all a big heads up. My hawkeyes are playing ohio st.tomorrow....at home....But I'm not feeling it. So tomorrow if my Hawks lose.....and the usps gods diss me again....you very well may turn on your t.v. and hear "BREAKING NEWS OUT OF OMAHA..A SEMI NAKED MAN...YELLING EGO...EGO....EGO, LEGGO MY EGO" that will be your cue to start a bail/public defender fund. I'm not proud of what I have become this week....and I'm even less proud that I hung it out here on this public line......but somewhere deep in my tar saturated heart....I know that you understand' Thank you for letting me vent GO HAWKS Oh man that's the funniest ****e I've read in a very long time. I was teetering, too.....trying to stay on my chair! Oh wow I hope you get your package today *crosses fingers* There isn't much daylight left .. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snubber Posted November 21, 2010 Share Posted November 21, 2010 The writing classes paid off...classic stuff there, I feel your pain. I think we all have been in that situation at least once. Hop it arrives soon,,,would hate to have to hear about it on the news. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now