Vaping in the Afterlife? Yes!

[jonnoh]

I thought that would intrigue alert readers.  Yes, I've died.  That is if you are inclined to believe everything the Social Security Admin tells you.  It began this way.  The second Wednesday of May, was the day my Social Security retirement benefit was supposed to be deposited in my Bank of America account.  Nothing happened, and initially I thought nothing about it as there are 12 hours difference between time here and Eastern Standard Time, so I just figured it was off by some hours.  Then as time went by and still no deposit, I checked my B of A accounts and OMG everything was empty.  Checking, savings, CDs credit cards, all gone!  Sheesh!  So I called (of course) and was told that the SSA had informed them that I had indeed died.  I of course informed them that the weren't talking to Casper, and they asked a bunch of personal questions that I answered correctly and thus my accounts were magically restored.  Resurrection!  And it took Jesus 3 days, yet I did it only a few hours and 7 ringgit in phone calls.  He must have had to meet with a committee.   (This experience has given me a lifetime of one liners)

Then the bubble burst.  I died again and now after many weeks and many many phone calls to SSA, B of A, the United States embassys in Kuala Lumpur, and Manila where SSA Southeast Asia is located, and everyone else who would listen, my bank accounts are re restored, credit cards working, but so far no retirement payment.  Still waiting on the SSA who like most government agencies move at the speed of snail.  

Now to the original subject.   I thought you would like to know that my vaping habits, supplies and equipment didn't change one bit during my death.  It must be comforting to know that vaping is infinite, everlasting.  To quote Mark Twain, "I was dead a long time before I was born, and it didn't inconvenience me at all."  

I'll leave you with a few thoughts.

This gives new meaning to the little kid curse of "Drop dead twice!"

I can now be a proper gwailo.  Gwailo is a Chinese word meaning "ghost man"  which I am frequently called here in Malaysia. 

A warning to all.  Your social security number is tied to almost everything you do in life in reference to employment, banking, education, licensing, retirement and who knows what.  I'm about to find out if it affects my passport as I try to go on holiday in Thailand next month.  If your social security number is declared dead, you might not even know unless someone, as in my case, an as yet unknown third party notifies your bank, or employer or some other interested party.  

Cheers!   the late Jon

[jasonculp]

Jon I am sorry to hear of your passing you will be missed around here.

 

I can't imagine what you are going through and the amount of red tape required to prove that you are alive.  I have heard stories about it, but never experienced it first hand. 

I had a friend years ago that purposely and somehow legally gave up his social security number.  He had sued the IRS after an audit and won.  He proved in court that he had been overpaying for 30+ years in his business and that he was targeted because of his extremist beliefs (extreme right wing, anti-govenment, and a dooms day prepper type)  A few years later he was amazed at how hard life could be without a social security number, even though (supposedly) it can only legally be used by the government, for social security purposes (at least that was the law back then.  He even had a copy of the original law that states it is illegal for any non-government entity to ask for it*, tucked in his wallet) he was extremely successful in his business, and by most standards wealthy.  He was killed in a Crop Dusting accident, and his wife had a very hard time collecting his assets, insurance, etc due to the lack of SS number...

*it is not illegal to ask, it was legal for you to refuse to provide it

Edited June 18, 2015 by jasonculp
bad memory

[jonnoh]

Thank you for the condolences  ,  You brought up something that I thought about doing years ago.  I am an antigov't type but I guess more on the left as in legalize all drugs and sex is a person's business, not the gov'ts and rock and roll for ever, and looked into what your friend did.  I think it was about declaring yourself a Sovereign citizen of your state and vacating your US citizenship.  That would all be well and good, but you could be questioned every time you crossed state lines as all states are really foreign to each other.  I gave the whole thing up as a bad job after seeing that I'd already paid more than 40 quarters into Social Security, starting at age 12 so I decided not to lose that,  which would probably happen.  Besides that in the US, a single citizen taking a stand like that.  that doesn't inspire the public outcry to follow that lead, makes the guy doing it about as significant as a f-a-r-t in a Canadian blizzard.  

[jasonculp]

He was a really interesting person.  He never borrowed a penny in his life and ran a self made business worth millions.  His business did everything by the books, but he wanted to erase his existence.  He was an extreme Christian, I know many people think all Christians are...but he was one of the most over the line guys I have known.  At the same time, he was funny and interesting, as long as you didn't go into politics or religion.

I see things more along the lines as you.  I want the government to back up and stick to the Constitution, but socially I am fairly liberal.  I don't think there should be laws governing personal behaviors, as long as it does not infringe on anyone elses' rights. (sex, drugs and rock-n-roll...lol)

[Bebop]

Funny, as usual Jonnoh   I'm sorry for your troubles but you weave a very good natured story. 

[VapeMama]

I'm sure it has to be frustrating, but I do enjoy your sense of humor!

[cesar]

Zombies exist !!! I knew it !!!!.......Vaping Zombies....

[jonnoh]

....And you can send me dead flowers every morning

Send me dead flowers by the US mail

Say it with dead flowers in my wedding

And (most importantly, paraphrased, changed for purpose, plagiarised, ) don't forget to put roses on my grave!