Sharon Posted March 29, 2011 Share Posted March 29, 2011 I just got this in an email from a friend. I have no idea if it is true or not, but I'm still laughing!!!! To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last. Date: 2010-09-27, 1:43 a.m. E.S.T. I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message. First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn't expect you to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket.. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason.. my girlfriend was happy that I just returned safely from my 2nd tour as a Combat Marine in Afghanistan .. She had just bought me that Kimber Custom Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head .... isn't it?! I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again]. After I called your mother or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station, -- on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 153 gallons and was extremely grateful! I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!] I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb .... after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car. Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. Ma Bell just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a little over a day now, so what 's going on with that? Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target. The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.). ;In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you ... but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path you've chosen to pursue in life.. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky. Have a good day! Thoughtfully yours, Semper Fi, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
egoluvr Posted March 29, 2011 Share Posted March 29, 2011 LOL that is too funny! Thanks for sharing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GPurv Posted March 29, 2011 Share Posted March 29, 2011 I always run these things through Snopes prior to sending on to others. But, at least this was a 'fun' one. http://www.snopes.com/crime/justice/mugger.asp Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sharon Posted March 29, 2011 Author Share Posted March 29, 2011 I always run these things through Snopes prior to sending on to others. But, at least this was a 'fun' one. http://www.snopes.com/crime/justice/mugger.asp It's a good thing I only posted it for the entertainment value!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cheshyl Posted March 29, 2011 Share Posted March 29, 2011 This is a case of "He didn't know who he was messing with", love it. Maybe it will make him think in the future, unless he just had one think in him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beans Posted March 29, 2011 Share Posted March 29, 2011 Haha, love it Sharon! True or not. You should of seen what my Hubby did to the 13 year old kids he caught after egging my house at 3 am. Hahaha I love revenge Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sharon Posted March 29, 2011 Author Share Posted March 29, 2011 Do tell Beans. If he is your husband, its got to be good!!!!!! LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kingbtheone Posted March 29, 2011 Share Posted March 29, 2011 MYTH: good story though http://www.snopes.com/crime/justice/mugger.asp Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sharon Posted March 29, 2011 Author Share Posted March 29, 2011 MYTH: good story though http://www.snopes.com/crime/justice/mugger.asp I didn't think it was true, but I got a laugh out of it and I only posted for the entertainment value. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kingbtheone Posted March 29, 2011 Share Posted March 29, 2011 and damn we all must of posted same time? i didnt see the other 4 responses yet when i posted mine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morfeeus Posted March 29, 2011 Share Posted March 29, 2011 Great story! I have my CPL(Concealed Pistol License) and this would be the likely outcome if someone is so unfortunate to try and mug me at knifepoint too. Although I would not call the FBI, etc..That could get you in some serious poo!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beans Posted March 29, 2011 Share Posted March 29, 2011 Do tell Beans. If he is your husband, its got to be good!!!!!! LOL I'll try to make it short...... 3 am sometime last September, Hubby was sitting on the couch watching TV when hears. TWHAK on our front door. So he pops it open sees the egg, and hears a bunch of kids down the block. So he goes and throws his camo gear on and gets all sneaky.... He starts following them down the street, slinking behind cars and garages, trying to close some ground on them. When they spot him (he's kinda of a big guy) and he figures he'll have a little fun with the kids... So he starts shuffling his feet real loud, snorting and breathing real heavy and walking kind of crazy. Just really looking like a horror movie freak. LOL They take off running for their lives, splitting up in every direction, but my guy he doesn't give up. No way he chases 1 kid 2 more blocks and grabs him by his shirt collar. Drug the poor kid back to the house and threatens him with waking up his crazy evil wife that will eat him for dinner if he didn't clean up the mess. LOL yes he meant me. Well when I got up this kid was finishing washing the entire front of my house, siding, shutters, doors, Windexing all of my windows and picking up some candy wrappers on my front lawn.... All at 430 am, LOL He about started crying when he saw me come out. I told him I wouldn't turn him into the police since he cleaned up my house, but never come around here again! Hahaha the power of being grown up. Yes, I'm sure Hubby could have gotten in trouble for grabbing the kid, but it was hell of funny to watch this punk clean my house, to see the fear in his eyes when he saw me, and hear Hubby tell the story. Makes us chuckle every time lol. GPurv 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CDATundra Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 Great story Beans, thanks for sharing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sharon Posted March 30, 2011 Author Share Posted March 30, 2011 (edited) I'll try to make it short...... 3 am sometime last September, Hubby was sitting on the couch watching TV when hears. TWHAK on our front door. So he pops it open sees the egg, and hears a bunch of kids down the block. So he goes and throws his camo gear on and gets all sneaky.... He starts following them down the street, slinking behind cars and garages, trying to close some ground on them. When they spot him (he's kinda of a big guy) and he figures he'll have a little fun with the kids... So he starts shuffling his feet real loud, snorting and breathing real heavy and walking kind of crazy. Just really looking like a horror movie freak. LOL They take off running for their lives, splitting up in every direction, but my guy he doesn't give up. No way he chases 1 kid 2 more blocks and grabs him by his shirt collar. Drug the poor kid back to the house and threatens him with waking up his crazy evil wife that will eat him for dinner if he didn't clean up the mess. LOL yes he meant me. Well when I got up this kid was finishing washing the entire front of my house, siding, shutters, doors, Windexing all of my windows and picking up some candy wrappers on my front lawn.... All at 430 am, LOL He about started crying when he saw me come out. I told him I wouldn't turn him into the police since he cleaned up my house, but never come around here again! Hahaha the power of being grown up. Yes, I'm sure Hubby could have gotten in trouble for grabbing the kid, but it was hell of funny to watch this punk clean my house, to see the fear in his eyes when he saw me, and hear Hubby tell the story. Makes us chuckle every time lol. Now that is the best non-fiction story I've ever heard. Now when that kid grows up and writes a best seller about the crazy dude and his evil wife. Then sells the screen play, that is made into an Oscar winning movie, will you get a slice of the pie????? Give your hubby a "high five" from me. Yep Beans, I knew you were married to a very special man!!!! Edited March 30, 2011 by Sharon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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