Don't kick yourself for smoking Michelle, and for sure no need to ditch your best support group for feeling guilty! Almost everyone here knows exactly what you're talking about. It's all good.
I too miss a lot of our former regulars. TSM, keenan, the list could go on. But like Chris said, that's the nature of forums. Someday I'll probably be gone too -- whenever I learn everything. One of the coolest things about VT is that our missing members are missed.